Now in hind sight I suppose its not surprising that he could not get it up more than once a day.Toward the end of April I decided to try again with Rum. Robert tried to deter me but I knew that I could manage if I got enough practice.The first time I had lane on my back on a straw bail. My legs had been bent back as they hung down and I had found that quite uncomfortable after a while. I decided that the next time I would lay on my front on the bail and straddle my legs either side this would ease the leg position for me but I was not too sure how Rum would cope with the different angle of my opening. After much arguing and frustration I eventually got Robert to agree to help me again, though I think he did it that time because he realised that I would go ahead whether he was there or not, and he did not want to miss it if I did. It was late in the evening. About eight thirty or nine o'clock. I had gone in and started to rouse Rum. Robert came in about ten minutes later and arranged. "I'm not mad, I'm crazy."I wiped my eyes with a tissue and sat up a little so I could see her better; she was watching my reaction intently, waiting for me to respond.She broke the silence by saying, "You said you loved me. Was that true?" Yes!" I cried. "I do!" Then don't be ashamed," she said.Was that what I was? Ashamed? Had my upbringing brought me to this place, afraid of being who I was, desperately wanting to bed a girl who was barely a teen, all the while full of guilt, shame and repressed emotions?She leaned down and whispered, "Kiss me." After a long pause, she added, "Please."I surrendered and gathered her into my arms. The kiss was soft, sweet and warm; there was no passion or urgency in it, only the calm acceptance of reality.It ended gracefully and we stared at each other for a moment. She stood and smiled at me, and started to take off her clothes."No, baby! We can't! It's illegal!" I hissed.She threw her shirt to the floor and said, "Maybe so, but it isn't wrong. Not.
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